Thursday, April 23, 2009

Kiss and Tell

Ok...I felt obligated to write about this following a conversation I had with a female today. She was telling me about an awkward first date and how the guy kissed her goodnight at the end of the evening, but she said she wasn't into it. Being pushy and not totally getting her meaning I asked her to explain. What came next was the absolute antonym of a kiss (in my opinion).

Said suitor was saying goodnight for the evening and went in to embrace my female friend. After a brief hug, they went to seperate from each other. Once they were about 8 inches apart the male pulls the female back in for a connection of lips. I was more than shocked. I felt obligated to explain to her...and now you (whoever you is...) how that is in no way a kiss. I have come up with my own criteria for what a first kiss must include.

1. Eye contact: There must be at least 3 second of uninterrupted eye contact within 30 seconds of the kiss.
2. A meeting in the middle: Guys need to go the majority of the way and allow the female to finish the remaining short distance. If a guy pulls the woman in, they are not allowing her to do her part and the kiss is one sided and more of a mouth rape.
3. I am not sure what three is but it seems like kissing should have more than 2 criteria right?

All that being said...gentleman...come on. If you are gonna kiss a girl, don't take advantage of hug proximity to overpower a female and pull them in for an awkward exchange of lip skin. Be a man and either get shot down or win the prize. None of this cheating crap...alright?

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